Steph’s Story

 

I am Steph McCutcheon, I identify as a person in long term recovery and ensure that people are aware of this to allow them to see that recovery is possible and to instil hope in those at the beginning of their journey or in a period of pre contemplation.

 I was brought up in a single parent family after the age of 6, prior to this my experience with my father was one of witnessing violence and aggression and a person that was not present in my formative years. After this I witnessed my mother and other family members using alcohol as a social lubricant and always associated it with good fun and good times. I had had a couple of sips of beer or shandies at family parties or events. I had my first ‘proper’ drink around the age of 12 or 13 and it felt great, I felt that I fitted in and continued to seek out opportunities to get drunk when and wherever I could.

It is only with hindsight that I see the damage that I did to myself and those around me. I thought that I was invincible when drunk, a Lothario and all round entertainer, when sober I was and still am painfully shy. I was also riddled with anxiety and feared everything, I was never good enough, I never had enough money and my future was doomed. The impact this had on my immediate family and children was a world full of broken promises and hardship. I was not present for those that relied on me, I was either drunk or in a state of withdrawal and high anxiety.

As I have already stated I saw alcohol related to a good time as I never linked the violence and anger with alcohol as I wasn’t aware this was a factor. I can clearly remember an advert with a pint with the condensation running down and thinking how good it would be, the links to a good time by way of pictures and TV adverts made alcohol exciting and attractive. For me the price didn’t matter, although I would moan about the price, it just meant that there was less in the housekeeping money and all my Kids got for Christmas and Birthdays were promises.

I have been sober since 03.10.2005, I found recovery through Alcoholics Anonymous and maintained it through the same as well as being involved in recovery communities and meaningful activity. Alcohol is available everywhere and I believe that the companies need to accept their responsibility to the issues caused by alcohol. I feel that this could be achieved by way of a levy which is directed to agencies responsible for supporting people and educating others on the harms that alcohol causes. My opinion is that funding is directed to services in a round about way getting less and less as it reaches those that can make significant changes.

I believe that the roots of unhealthy alcohol use lies with community and more resources and funding should be directed toward creating activity and more compassionate communities

Alcohol is a dangerous substance and should be viewed as such. The figures that are published lessen the actual harms of alcohol, people need to be aware of this.